My blog got bogged

I'm sorry, my devoted 6 followers. I am a terrible blogger. A terrible, uncommitted, shitful blogger. I have not written in over 2 months! The shame is lurking over me like the veil of debt that I ONCE had.

Ok, to say once is taking liberty. No, I haven't miraculously eradicated it all in 4 months. Although taking on some extra work as an 'exotic dancer' did cross my mind. However, the outcome as it stands today looks like this

Personal Loan: 

WAS: 4646.28  

IS: 3,943.90

Credit Card 1: 

WAS: $953.21 (limit $1000

BLOODY CLOSED!!!!!! CLOSED!!!!!!!    

                                Credit Card 2: 

                                 WAS: $5957. 59 (limit $6000) Limit now $5000!

                                  IS: $ 4897
 

                                 Fines (F*#K!): 

                                WAS: $1684.00….

                                 IS: mmmm, $1534.00...screw you infringements court, you are clearly not my priority

                                 Misc (education, bills etc): 

                                WAS: $1220

                                 IS: 50.00 (woop)

                                And the grand total..

                                WAS: $14461.08

                                IS: $10424.90

BOOYAH. 

If I may carry on with my bragblog, I have also finished my showreel, written my cabaret, scored a theatre gig (paid, woohoo!), landed some presenting work, moved cities and saved the world. 

The ONLY reason I'm carrying on in what may seem an irksome, skite-like fashion, is because we all have goals that we want to kick (in the balls). We all have dirty debts (wether they be financial or otherwise) and we all have that bucket list of things to do before we die. 

If I can do this, anyone can. 

A Japanese Proverb

As we've established, everything about my 2011 is tres zen. That is, with the exception of frequent boozing, failing to meditate, abandonment of yoga for aggressive weight training, incessant chewing of fingers, ice cream binges, and intermittent career related anxiety that is literally giving me the shits. Yes, literally. Everything else? Totes zen. So of course, nothing other than a Kikki K 'Inspirational Diary' would do, to document the chaotic array of tasks that constitute my life. Every couple of weeks, I'm greeted by a page that enlightens me with some sort of inspirational hogwash, hogwash that I am convinced has graced the page at the perfect time, by the divine powers of the universe, specifically for me. If you take note of my status updates on facebook, you'll see them. I regurgitate them, secretly hoping that my friends admire my innate wisdom. Truth is, I'm a big fat fraud, such pearls could only belong to famous Poets, Buddhist Monks, or a Japanese Sage.

My little mantra of the moment is:

A few entries ago, I blatently confessed my deepest dreams and desires. And while it was effing hard, it gave me a concise idea of what I want. The next step was to take some action. For years, and I mean like, ten of the suckers, I've meandered around in this dilly-dally of a direction towards some vague way of living (that's the action without vision part).  It was the reality of having very little to show, well at least from where I stand, at my ten year reunion (this year, dammit!), that gave me a kick up the proverbial to get moving.


So now my daydreams have action. I said I want to present, so I'm filming a Showreel..featuring everything from rockclimbing to drag queens. I said, in a grandiose statement, that I want to tour a cabaret around the world. Well, I've at least started locally and booked a space in Melbourne, come June. I said I want to write for mags, so I've enrolled in a Writing Course, to see how I can fine tune these ramblings into some kind of feature article. Every day is action. Or if not, it's at least some crappy job that is supporting all of the above. And it's these very actions, that are making my crappy jobs that little bit more bearable.

Oh good Lord. I started writing this on the 7th of MArch, and today is the 4th of May. I forgot to post it! Cue PUBLISH POST button!